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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Did you close the deal?” I’m like, “Uh, kinda busy here!” He’s not having it. I can feel the pressure. I’m sweating bullets. I’m thinking, “If I don’t close this, I’m toast.”

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